Those are some good ones! Thanks for sharing.
I bought one of those push-up bras, but I can still only do about 10.
Superglue isn’t the best lip balm, but I can’t complain.
The lady at the salon drew my wife’s eyebrows on too high, and when I told her, she looked surprised.
Somebody fainted on the baggage carousel at the airport. But they came around after a while.
I’m so old I had to join a carbon dating website.
Finally, my wife said the wanted to “experiment” more in the bedroom. Looks like I’m in the control group, though.
There’s some really good ones in there, both of you guys… Thanks Later Jeff
Getting Old is just one body part after another saying, "HA HA, you think that’s bad? Watch this!
Aaaa… there is truth in humor.
And then there is the three legged dog that walked into an old west bar and said, “I’m lookin’ for the man that shot my pa”.
Winter go away.
Hey Lynn I don’t think winter is coming this year… Worst ice year I’ve seen in a long time… Crazy to be towards the end of January and still not having decent ice… I’m predicting an early spring if things keep going like they have been… Last week when we got a couple feet of snow I was getting nervous especially with 17 below zero temps… But a couple days later we’re back in the 40’s and the snow is down to maybe a foot left, and so who knows what’s going to happen this year… Later Jeff
Some “Observations”
Just waiting for summer fishing.
Due to my time alone, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that’s a lot of coloring
What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
I tried donating blood today…NEVER AGAIN! Too many stupid questions:
Who’s blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket
There’s nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and you think, “They are going to find me naked.”
Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.
Struggling to get your wife’s attention? Just sit down and look comfortable.
Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time.
I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there’s no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don’t let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.
Shut-out to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but can’t remember the password they created yesterday. You are my people.
One minute you’re young and fun. And next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.
Think you’re old and you will be old. Think you are young, and you will be delusional.
When I offer to wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Not all this “Who are you and how did you get in here?” nonsense.
Not in jail, not in a mental hospital, not in a grave—I’d say I’m having a good day.