05-07-2006, 11:08 PM
[black][size 1]Very excellent post Dave, I couldn't have put it better myself. [/size][/black]
[black][size 1]I went through a marriage that was a living hell (but I denied the fact), I liked to fish from time to time, my wife had NO hobbies, I was her hobby. When I took time for myself she would make me regret it every time. It took me years after the divorce to be able to fish again, as she said that IT (me fishing and hunting) was the whole problem, I didn't even know who I was, or what I wanted, because I could not be me and have her love me. I felt lots of guilt (I believed her that it was all my fault) I even stayed single and tried to get her back, until the day she remarried (that's just how I am) I was finally free, I had tried as long and hard as she would let me, and had forgiven her and myself by that time. [/size][/black]
[black][size 1]I went through 10 years of being happily single, and am now happily married to a woman that beisides being a very beautiful person, has been through a lot of the same things I've been through, and needs time to herself as much as I do.[/size][/black]
[size 1]A book I read saved my sanity "Rebuilding" by Dr. Bruce Fisher, it is not a book you read cover to cover, it is about the building blocks that make up a healthy, happy human being. Each chapter deals with feelings we all have after a relationship ends (don't make the mistake thinking that it is only for people going through divorce if I could have found it before I divorced, who knows) Resentment, Anger, Self Asteem (or lack of it) Guilt, Forgivness, Trust, Loneliness, there are many more. At the end of every chapter you take a quiz (Write down your answere, and answer painfull honest) to see how you are doing on that block. When you find out where your problem is, that chapter has ways to feel better. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is having problems in a relationship. [/size]
[size 1]Just know that feeling the way you do is okay. We all have to learn to forgive others, and ourselves. Take care LBD[/size]
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[black][size 1]I went through a marriage that was a living hell (but I denied the fact), I liked to fish from time to time, my wife had NO hobbies, I was her hobby. When I took time for myself she would make me regret it every time. It took me years after the divorce to be able to fish again, as she said that IT (me fishing and hunting) was the whole problem, I didn't even know who I was, or what I wanted, because I could not be me and have her love me. I felt lots of guilt (I believed her that it was all my fault) I even stayed single and tried to get her back, until the day she remarried (that's just how I am) I was finally free, I had tried as long and hard as she would let me, and had forgiven her and myself by that time. [/size][/black]
[black][size 1]I went through 10 years of being happily single, and am now happily married to a woman that beisides being a very beautiful person, has been through a lot of the same things I've been through, and needs time to herself as much as I do.[/size][/black]
[size 1]A book I read saved my sanity "Rebuilding" by Dr. Bruce Fisher, it is not a book you read cover to cover, it is about the building blocks that make up a healthy, happy human being. Each chapter deals with feelings we all have after a relationship ends (don't make the mistake thinking that it is only for people going through divorce if I could have found it before I divorced, who knows) Resentment, Anger, Self Asteem (or lack of it) Guilt, Forgivness, Trust, Loneliness, there are many more. At the end of every chapter you take a quiz (Write down your answere, and answer painfull honest) to see how you are doing on that block. When you find out where your problem is, that chapter has ways to feel better. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is having problems in a relationship. [/size]
[size 1]Just know that feeling the way you do is okay. We all have to learn to forgive others, and ourselves. Take care LBD[/size]
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