12-20-2004, 08:27 PM
[cool][#0000ff]The usual family stuff, interrupted by some occasional fishing trips. Got plans for Christmas eve though. Got a list of fun things to do to mess with Santa:[/#0000ff]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]5. Keep an
bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit![/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.
" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. 
"[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black] [/black][/size][/font]
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[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]5. Keep an
bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit![/black][/size][/font] [font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.
" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. "[/black][/size][/font] [font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black]20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."[/black][/size][/font]
[font "Times New Roman"][size 3][black] [/black][/size][/font]
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